i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
