is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
