He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
