I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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