when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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