Ambien. No doubt about it.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
