doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
