once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
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I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
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I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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