You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
