just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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