We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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