my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
