me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
