just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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