Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
