You're completely useless in the revolution.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
