I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
