hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
