I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
