lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
