Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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