Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
