i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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