Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
