Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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