He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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