We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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