I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
