He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Randomize
