i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
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I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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