Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
