At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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