I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
