I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
