I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
