I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
