Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
All the doctor said was why
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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