$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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