You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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