so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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