He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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