If that was your dad, he is hot
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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