God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize