I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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