Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
