I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
