I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
