At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
