What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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