Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
