Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
