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I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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