Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Vodka?
Forever.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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