Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
