Fuck appropriateness.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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