oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
