So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
