so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
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I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
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The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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