Who did Billy Mays play for?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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