I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
