she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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