Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
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I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
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Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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