Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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