And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
