you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
