I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
